Frozen

So, I was at my friends house the other day and for reasons that I cannot understand, everyone was sitting in the living room watching a movie titled: “Frozen.”

You think the cover looks dumb? You haven’t seen nothing yet.

If you actually want to waste your time watching this movie, then don’t read on…because it will spoil it for you.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

So. Frozen was pretty much the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my entire life. IMDB (Internet Movie Database) rated this movie 3 stars. In my opinion, it should’ve gotten half of one star.

The whole movie is about these three people who get stuck on a chairlift for a few days. THE WHOLE MOVIE. The scenery never changes….you pretty much watch these people sit on a chairlift. That is, until one dude jumps off and BREAKS BOTH OF HIS LEGS….you can see the bone sticking out. It was pretty cute.  Then he gets eaten by skii mountain wolves. REALLY? Give me a break.

So the girl in the movie has frostbite everywhere and I got to watch her peel of her hand skin (she got her bare hand stuck to the metal on the chairlift)…that was disgusting….I thought people edited movies before they put them out on the market. Apparently that’s “so last year.”

The other dude scrapes his hands up as his makes his way to the next chairlift on the line. He finally gets to a pole thingy, climbs down to get help….annnnnd GETS EATEN BY WOLVES HALFWAY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. shocker.

Finally the chick realizes that the wolves ate all of her help. So the screw magically COMES LOOSE….on the SPECIFIC chair she was sitting on….and it drops low to the ground so she can easily jump down. This girl…being the blonde that she is, doesn’t get out of the way as the chair comes crashing down behind her…and sprains her ankle. SO she hobbles all the way down the hill and sees her dead friends (although they don’t look too friendly at this point) and the people-eating wolves. She finally reaches the highway and a dude picks her up.

THE END.

FOR REAL?!?!??!?! Did I really waste an hour-ish of my life watching that?

So. It is my recommendation that you stay far away from this movie.

If you happen to have already seen it, and you loved it. Well….whatever floats your boat.

staystellar

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2 responses to “Frozen

  1. Oh wow…this was a great review…You should always review movies, because I thought about watching that movie, but it seemed to graphic for me…good thing I read this review first! WOLVES! I love wolves. Sounds like a real thriller.

  2. watch and enjoy the frozen

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