John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

This is a clown:  


I do not like clowns. They are scary and mean.


This is Santa:

I do not like Santa. He is scary, and a little too nice.


This is the Easter Bunny

I do not like the Easter Bunny. He is scary and hairy.


This is Mister Rogers

He is not my hero.


So, what do we conclude from this little picture show here?  …i’ll tell you.   The conclusion that I would come to, is that I just don’t like scary men dressed up in scary costumes. You never know who is behind the paint, beard, or furry head….it could be anyone….even Mr. Rogers. You just never know these days. 

 Around the holidays when I go shopping at the mall, I usually happen upon people dressed up as Santa, or the Easter bunny. They are usually lurking. I avoid walking by them whenever possible.

  Although I am sure that at least 95% of people inside those costumes are fun loving, law abiding, vegetable eating, citizens…  the other 5% still creeps me out, and ruins my good opinion of the marjority.

  I have now debated for several mintues whether or not to share my clown story with all of you….I think I must.

    The Clown Story  By: Anna Roslyn Reynolds

   Once upon a time when I was a young child, my parents decided to take me and my sisters on a fun trip to the Shrine Circus.  While we were enjoying the show, I happened to notice a little boy (who I later learned had been in a house fire)….his face and arms and legs and body were disfigured from this tragedy. This made me sad.  As I was contemplating in my little head this terrible, terrible thing… a naughty clown walked up to the boy and said to him, “you’re just a little french fry, aren’t you?” 

         The end.

This is a true story. And this is why I don’t like clowns. Over the years I have gradually put clowns, Santa Clauses, and the Easter Bunny into the same catergory with Mr. Rogers…the catergory of mean and scary.

 It was not my intent in writing this blog post, to leave you depressed and wary of all things in scary costumes. I was merely sharing with you my thoughts and feelings on the subject. If I have ruined your day, I apologize profusely….perhaps you should scroll down on my page to my pear farming post, the womans voice in the pear video has the potential to make your week.

    And as always,  

                Stay Stellar


P.S.   This is Barney:

…Point proven? 


4 responses to “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

  1. this is great. *applauds!

  2. if i was a clown I might find it my responsibility to tell burned children that they look like french fries.
    and then squirt water on their faces to cool them off.
    it would be awful.
    and that’s why I’m not a clown.


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